Thoughts

[iamdasht19]

well basically as you all know i have been chilling quite a bit with priscilla and was loving every minute of it. but today i found out after of course i started falling for her that she has a boyfriend she conveniently forgot to tell me about. after all i have just gone through this is a big hit and i dont know what to do or what i am doing wrong. i consider myself the perfect gentleman that will always treat a woman with respect whether it is opening doors, listening to what they have to say, being respectful, in arguments listening to what she has to say than tell her my perspective respectfully, call her just to say hi and to see how their day is going, remembering special oocassions, being part of their intresets and doing those intrests with them, etc.... i just seem to never have luck with the ladies yet and just dont seem to know why. me and pris have always understood eachother and could tell eachother anything even stuff we havent shared with anyone else and than this happened and i dont know what to think and just cant catch a break lately. i feel again as my life is crashing again and there is nothing i can do to stop it.... all day since i have found out i have been in a deep depression and just sitting there thinking about why does this always happen and my friends that are female cant figure it out because they always say i am the guy of all girls dreams and being hot doesnt hurt either..... does anyone have any insight or different look on this because i still cant stop thinking of her and all and it seems as if i will never find the one....... as many know i had a fiance for a while before i walked in on her cheating on me and ****ing one of my best friends at the time. i would really appreciate to here some thoughts on the situation and how to cheer myself up...

Thanks family for always being there for me.

[littledaisy]

damn...so i guess it just slipped her mind to tell ya huh....odd...but anywho all i can say is that there is someone out there for you...you just have to be patient...sometimes things happen for a reason and well i guess if this happend...then it wasnt meant to be ...like my momma always said..its better to be alone then with bad company...and i totaly understand that it is tough to be alone at times when you need someone to talk to or just cuddle with at times..but you have to be strong...you've come this far and well...just dont look back..keep on movin forward cuz its not whats coming that will hurt you..its your past that brings you down..so keep your head up buddy...we all love you...remember that

[puertoblack2003]

well buddy you looking for love in all the wrong places....Being with a female is like messing with an antique...lol..... you have to be careful how you handle it and you have to care for it.Not every antique are alike. Its up to an expert to know the history and can say that it is worth it or not.

I'm going to tell you what mom told me when i was young when the time is right...it will happen dont rush into... to get so deep into the emotion's You're young brotha in due time you'll be ok....Other then that i guess you have to bring out that blowup doll you put away again...hahahhahahaha

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by littledaisy ”

damn...so i guess it just slipped her mind to tell ya huh....odd...but anywho all i can say is that there is someone out there for you...you just have to be patient...sometimes things happen for a reason and well i guess if this happend...then it wasnt meant to be ...like my momma always said..its better to be alone then with bad company...and i totaly understand that it is tough to be alone at times when you need someone to talk to or just cuddle with at times..but you have to be strong...you've come this far and well...just dont look back..keep on movin forward cuz its not whats coming that will hurt you..its your past that brings you down..so keep your head up buddy...we all love you...remember that

thanks girl and yeah must have slipped the mind. thanks and i will keep my head up just seems weird since i felt things were going better and now they have crashed on me again........

“ Originally Posted by puertoblack2003 ”

well buddy you looking for love in all the wrong places....Being with a female is like messing with an antique...lol..... you have to be careful how you handle it and you have to care for it.Not every antique are alike. Its up to an expert to know the history and can say that it is worth it or not.

I'm going to tell you what mom told me when i was young when the time is right...it will happen dont rush into... to get so deep into the emotion's You're young brotha in due time you'll be ok....Other then that i guess you have to bring out that blowup doll you put away again...hahahhahahaha

hahahaha pb thanks and might have to do that but im not one to go out and look for it i let it come to me since it will happen when it does happen.... i dont go out looking for it but when i felt all was starting to go well after my last troubles i just went through it seems like they are all starting again..... good to know i got friends that do care here at the site and ones that wont judge me for sharing my thoughts.... means a lot.

[NINE'SICKS]

damn.. thats some nighty deep stuff u just put out there and i wanna give u mad respect.. i feel u bro, i was in the same situation and as hard as it was i focusd on me and my kids and with out knowing i met the girl im with now.. all i can realy say is EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by NINE'SICKS ”

damn.. thats some nighty deep stuff u just put out there and i wanna give u mad respect.. i feel u bro, i was in the same situation and as hard as it was i focusd on me and my kids and with out knowing i met the girl im with now.. all i can realy say is EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

true i guess it is better that it happened now than later...... hopefullly i wont let this get to me too much, i know it will be on my mind some since hell i am human and all but yeah it all does happen for a reason and maby i will still find the one

Thanks

[Metalmayhem]

Keep your head up son! Everything will fall in its place when the time comes, don't worry theres tons of woman out there and soon you will find the one. Just keep doing what you do best and god will take care of you.

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by Metalmayhem ”

Keep your head up son! Everything will fall in its place when the time comes, don't worry theres tons of woman out there and soon you will find the one. Just keep doing what you do best and god will take care of you.

thanks just tough after she helped me through my attempted suicide attempt and than she acts as if she was close to me and than does this.... i tried to talk to her about it but she couldnt stop crying and she says she will do it tomorrow.... so im not sure if she was toying with me to bring me up and than crash me down or if what she said was really true... just hard to be brought up like that from such a low and than slammed back down in such a hostile way.

[gadget945]

Dash -

So sorry to hear about your troubles, that just sucks. Have a son going through the same thing right now, unfortunately there is a child involved in the mix, my first grandbaby. I send you the same heartfelt offer I gave my son, "Tell me where she is and I'll go and pound her for you."

In any case, I can tell you that in this line of work that I do, I have become surrogate mother to a lot of people from different walks of life. They see me more than they see their own families, they drive out of their way to come here just to say "Howdy" and chill for a while.

There is a quote on our front window that says, "Don't ask the question if you don't want the truth. You already have the answer, or you wouldn't ask."
With that being said, it's not really anything to do with you, other than your choice in women. What they did to you is no reflection on you, they are just deceitful, conniving, and for lack of a better term, DOGS.

You seem like a really great guy, I know that you help a lot of people and go out of your way to help folks you don't even know. I think that you are just looking.

Having been married 4 times, and countless boyfriends/toys in between, I too thought that there was something wrong with me. I seem to have hooked up with men that all had psychotic exes in their lives. My 3rd husband's ex is certified mentally unstable in TWO states. She has paperwork to say she's sane at this time. One of my good friends works as a manager of a strip club, every girl he dates is playing him for a trick, but he just won't quit dating them. Can't help him, he just doesn't say anything until they leave because he knows what I will tell him.

Quit looking. Quit hoping. Quit bending over backwards to make them happy. It's a relationship. It's a partnership. No two people are going to agree all the time. My husband and I can tell each other to "go *uck off" and it's taken to mean that point in time, not that we don't love each other any more, it's just you are really getting on my nerves, go away for a bit. It's all good, we have discussed it, we get along great. We work together from 2pm to 2am six days a week. We live together, and we still have yet to cause each other permanent bodily injury. LOL. We had both decided we weren't looking to hook up with anyone after our previous relationships died miserable deaths, we just happened upon each other and took it slow and easy. BTW, this May is our 8 year mark.

Seriously, back on point. If you want to worry about anything, making yourself content and happy should be your main focus, you won't make anyone else happy if you're not happy. A lot of these people mistake kindness for weakness, so stick up for yourself.
You deserve to be happy, but no one but you can make you happy.


Hope the rambling helps you. You deserve the best, don't settle.

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by gadget945 ”

Dash -

So sorry to hear about your troubles, that just sucks. Have a son going through the same thing right now, unfortunately there is a child involved in the mix, my first grandbaby. I send you the same heartfelt offer I gave my son, "Tell me where she is and I'll go and pound her for you."

In any case, I can tell you that in this line of work that I do, I have become surrogate mother to a lot of people from different walks of life. They see me more than they see their own families, they drive out of their way to come here just to say "Howdy" and chill for a while.

There is a quote on our front window that says, "Don't ask the question if you don't want the truth. You already have the answer, or you wouldn't ask."
With that being said, it's not really anything to do with you, other than your choice in women. What they did to you is no reflection on you, they are just deceitful, conniving, and for lack of a better term, DOGS.

You seem like a really great guy, I know that you help a lot of people and go out of your way to help folks you don't even know. I think that you are just looking.

Having been married 4 times, and countless boyfriends/toys in between, I too thought that there was something wrong with me. I seem to have hooked up with men that all had psychotic exes in their lives. My 3rd husband's ex is certified mentally unstable in TWO states. She has paperwork to say she's sane at this time. One of my good friends works as a manager of a strip club, every girl he dates is playing him for a trick, but he just won't quit dating them. Can't help him, he just doesn't say anything until they leave because he knows what I will tell him.

Quit looking. Quit hoping. Quit bending over backwards to make them happy. It's a relationship. It's a partnership. No two people are going to agree all the time. My husband and I can tell each other to "go *uck off" and it's taken to mean that point in time, not that we don't love each other any more, it's just you are really getting on my nerves, go away for a bit. It's all good, we have discussed it, we get along great. We work together from 2pm to 2am six days a week. We live together, and we still have yet to cause each other permanent bodily injury. LOL. We had both decided we weren't looking to hook up with anyone after our previous relationships died miserable deaths, we just happened upon each other and took it slow and easy. BTW, this May is our 8 year mark.

Seriously, back on point. If you want to worry about anything, making yourself content and happy should be your main focus, you won't make anyone else happy if you're not happy. A lot of these people mistake kindness for weakness, so stick up for yourself.
You deserve to be happy, but no one but you can make you happy.


Hope the rambling helps you. You deserve the best, don't settle.

wow thanks for the share of your personal experiences. i have came to the decision that i will be trying to find some way to get some cash to go to counseling and help better myself at the same time....... with the economy im gonna have to give up a lot in my life to be able to pay for it but i know it will be for the best.... now to finding some stuff that i can sell so i can get the money to do it. Thanks again for the words and the care that you have shown

[Sh0wNuF]

damn d/\sh i really truly feel for you and I know exactly what you are going through because this has happened to me on quite a few occasions. I spent a year on my first love as just friends and hoping she would like me, I wined and dined her for over a year and she didn't once mention having a boyfriend but was practically engaged the whole year. First I gotta tell you that it is most definitely not you that has a problem but it is the girl(s) with the problem. I have had many sleepless nights wondering what I could have done or changed about myself or the way I acted that would have gotten me the girl and the answer is nothing. In this situation, no matter what type of person you are or how you behave (believe me I'm just as chivalrous as you) will have any impact. You just gotta keep being who you are and doing what you do and the right lady will come along. These other ladies are just stepping stones along the way to finding the right girl, and trust me when you find that right lady that appreciates you for who you are then you will look back and realize that everything you have been through, even the heartache, was most definitely worth it.

Trust me bro, keep your spirits up and just keep being you and you will find happiness

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by Sh0wNuF ”

damn d/\sh i really truly feel for you and I know exactly what you are going through because this has happened to me on quite a few occasions. I spent a year on my first love as just friends and hoping she would like me, I wined and dined her for over a year and she didn't once mention having a boyfriend but was practically engaged the whole year. First I gotta tell you that it is most definitely not you that has a problem but it is the girl(s) with the problem. I have had many sleepless nights wondering what I could have done or changed about myself or the way I acted that would have gotten me the girl and the answer is nothing. In this situation, no matter what type of person you are or how you behave (believe me I'm just as chivalrous as you) will have any impact. You just gotta keep being who you are and doing what you do and the right lady will come along. These other ladies are just stepping stones along the way to finding the right girl, and trust me when you find that right lady that appreciates you for who you are then you will look back and realize that everything you have been through, even the heartache, was most definitely worth it.

Trust me bro, keep your spirits up and just keep being you and you will find happiness

thanks and yeah its tough for me though because my senior year of high school many of my friends were heading in the wrong direction so i had to seperate from them so i dont have many people that i can go out with and meet others through... i cant go to the bar or club by myself just seems weird and uncomfortable like this person is just weird to go by themselves..... thanks for the care you have always shown towards me... means more than anyone will ever know.

[ICEM/\N]

man...I feel for ya bra......what is this girls feel on this boyfriend...are they seeing other people and how does she feel about u man...maybe she wants to drop this guy for you...I mean if most of her time has been with you than thats means she must be ready to leave this guy...

[Sh0wNuF]

“ Originally Posted by D/\SH ”

thanks and yeah its tough for me though because my senior year of high school many of my friends were heading in the wrong direction so i had to seperate from them so i dont have many people that i can go out with and meet others through... i cant go to the bar or club by myself just seems weird and uncomfortable like this person is just weird to go by themselves..... thanks for the care you have always shown towards me... means more than anyone will ever know.

haha I know what you mean, I had to "part" with my friends once we graduated and I realized that I wasn't bein me but tryin to be like them to fit in and I won't even go to walmart by myself unless I absolutely have to have something like medicine let alone go to a bar...the reason all of us care so much about you bro is because even though we have never met face to face you have helped supported all of us, and not just with our phones, but with family/personal crisis', random talk, dances, or even just sharing jokes with everyone and whatever lady you end up with will be extremely lucky because I can't imagine the devotion you will give to someone you care about when you are so devoted to a bunch(mostly :-D) of strangers on the internet. Good luck bro

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by ICEM/\N ”

man...I feel for ya bra......what is this girls feel on this boyfriend...are they seeing other people and how does she feel about u man...maybe she wants to drop this guy for you...I mean if most of her time has been with you than thats means she must be ready to leave this guy...

right i did talk to her a little ago finally and the thing is we did mess around and ive been cheated on in the past by my ex fiance and a couple past gf's. in my book once a cheat always a cheat.... she should have told me she was with this guy and how she felt and if she means what she said and she wanted to be with me she should have broke the ties with him and not cheated... i ownt ever be able to date her..... i will still be friends since i do care about her still but i will never be able to feel the exact same about her...... cant just leave someone behind that i did and do care about for something like this... hell i even talk to my ex finace from time to time.

“ Originally Posted by Sh0wNuF ”

haha I know what you mean, I had to "part" with my friends once we graduated and I realized that I wasn't bein me but tryin to be like them to fit in and I won't even go to walmart by myself unless I absolutely have to have something like medicine let alone go to a bar...the reason all of us care so much about you bro is because even though we have never met face to face you have helped supported all of us, and not just with our phones, but with family/personal crisis', random talk, dances, or even just sharing jokes with everyone and whatever lady you end up with will be extremely lucky because I can't imagine the devotion you will give to someone you care about when you are so devoted to a bunch(mostly :-D) of strangers on the internet. Good luck bro

thanks that does mean quite a bit to me and hopefully that day will come

[gadget945]

Not to prey on a bad situation, I would NEVER do that, but how much is that modding service again? Wouldn't happen to have an extra Pro laying around you wanted to sell, huh?

This too shall pass. Counseling may help, but I just found out my son is supposedly expecting another child with this "woman" he is with. I want a DNA testing center on standby for this one.

Can you make an app that would do that? Like the infrared could like read the blood and all of that?

Not wanting to make light of anything, but dwelling won't get you anywhere.

Stay strong. Laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by gadget945 ”

Not to prey on a bad situation, I would NEVER do that, but how much is that modding service again? Wouldn't happen to have an extra Pro laying around you wanted to sell, huh?

This too shall pass. Counseling may help, but I just found out my son is supposedly expecting another child with this "woman" he is with. I want a DNA testing center on standby for this one.

Can you make an app that would do that? Like the infrared could like read the blood and all of that?

Not wanting to make light of anything, but dwelling won't get you anywhere.

Stay strong. Laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

the modding service is 60 shipped back with insurance and no i dont have a pro unfortunately.... thinking about selling mine and going back to a flip phone for a lil and than a touch that i will be trading for soon....

[GokuSS3]

Man I know all to well what you are going threw right now. I just went threw all of that not that long ago and was depressed over a girl and why I couldnt seem to do things right!!!! I was beating myself up over it , saying the same things I am a good guy nice why can't keep who I am with , am I doing something wrong. Well it not that you are doing something wrong just haven't found that person yet. When you do you won't have to try it will just all come natural for you bro........ Don't stress over her too bad or life it is not worth it just push on and do you be you don't change. An plus she didn't tell up front about it then she couldn't have been all that serious!!!!! But keep your head up and stay busy cause sitting around thinking about it just makes it so much worse for you bro. Hope things get better for you/

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by gadget945 ”

Not to prey on a bad situation, I would NEVER do that, but how much is that modding service again? Wouldn't happen to have an extra Pro laying around you wanted to sell, huh?

This too shall pass. Counseling may help, but I just found out my son is supposedly expecting another child with this "woman" he is with. I want a DNA testing center on standby for this one.

Can you make an app that would do that? Like the infrared could like read the blood and all of that?

Not wanting to make light of anything, but dwelling won't get you anywhere.

Stay strong. Laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

“ Originally Posted by GokuSS3 ”

Man I know all to well what you are going threw right now. I just went threw all of that not that long ago and was depressed over a girl and why I couldnt seem to do things right!!!! I was beating myself up over it , saying the same things I am a good guy nice why can't keep who I am with , am I doing something wrong. Well it not that you are doing something wrong just haven't found that person yet. When you do you won't have to try it will just all come natural for you bro........ Don't stress over her too bad or life it is not worth it just push on and do you be you don't change. An plus she didn't tell up front about it then she couldn't have been all that serious!!!!! But keep your head up and stay busy cause sitting around thinking about it just makes it so much worse for you bro. Hope things get better for you/

word i hear you there it just came crashing down at such a bad time.... i know it will happen when it will happen since the big man above already has it all planned.... just kind of tough as you say and hard to stop thinking about sometimes especially when i have to see her at least 4 times a week at work since she shares an office with me

[GokuSS3]

“ Originally Posted by D/\SH ”

word i hear you there it just came crashing down at such a bad time.... i know it will happen when it will happen since the big man above already has it all planned.... just kind of tough as you say and hard to stop thinking about sometimes especially when i have to see her at least 4 times a week at work since she shares an office with me

I know I worked with my last Girlfriend that I was with for a year an a half , after things ended I had to go everyday to work seeing her and not let it effect me at work cause she was a manager I was associate. If word where of gotten out she could have introuble. So i know it must suck bad. But as I said keep strong even tho it will hard that you have to work with her all the time.

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by GokuSS3 ”

I know I worked with my last Girlfriend that I was with for a year an a half , after things ended I had to go everyday to work seeing her and not let it effect me at work cause she was a manager I was associate. If word where of gotten out she could have introuble. So i know it must suck bad. But as I said keep strong even tho it will hard that you have to work with her all the time.

yeah the worst part about it is that i have to be in contact with her constantly because i am her boss and she is my assistant that mails out all my packages and takes the calls for me....... kind of hard to avoid her but i guess we will see if we can still be friends or work this out or something....... gonna be interesting these next weeks to see what happend between us since i dont want to loose her from my life totally.... like i said earlier im gonna have to scruff up some cash so i can go see a counseler.... just need to find some things that i can part with and sell so i can get the cash to do so.

[GokuSS3]

“ Originally Posted by D/\SH ”

yeah the worst part about it is that i have to be in contact with her constantly because i am her boss and she is my assistant that mails out all my packages and takes the calls for me....... kind of hard to avoid her but i guess we will see if we can still be friends or work this out or something....... gonna be interesting these next weeks to see what happend between us since i dont want to loose her from my life totally.... like i said earlier im gonna have to scruff up some cash so i can go see a counseler.... just need to find some things that i can part with and sell so i can get the cash to do so.

Do that too if you think that is what you need , don't let anyone tell you other wise or make it seem like it not cool!!!! I went it helped me a ton got me out of being all sad and back to being me and doing what I love too do. Just know if you do go they are only there to listen to you , they wont give you answers just make you see the big picture and suggest what you could do to help you !!!!

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by GokuSS3 ”

Do that too if you think that is what you need , don't let anyone tell you other wise or make it seem like it not cool!!!! I went it helped me a ton got me out of being all sad and back to being me and doing what I love too do. Just know if you do go they are only there to listen to you , they wont give you answers just make you see the big picture and suggest what you could do to help you !!!!

word, yeah i have heard how they work but sometimes someone there to help you gather your talks and to listen to you can help out soooo much

[1LOMOFO]

“ Originally Posted by D/\SH ”

well basically as you all know i have been chilling quite a bit with priscilla and was loving every minute of it. but today i found out after of course i started falling for her that she has a boyfriend she conveniently forgot to tell me about. after all i have just gone through this is a big hit and i dont know what to do or what i am doing wrong. i consider myself the perfect gentleman that will always treat a woman with respect whether it is opening doors, listening to what they have to say, being respectful, in arguments listening to what she has to say than tell her my perspective respectfully, call her just to say hi and to see how their day is going, remembering special oocassions, being part of their intresets and doing those intrests with them, etc.... i just seem to never have luck with the ladies yet and just dont seem to know why. me and pris have always understood eachother and could tell eachother anything even stuff we havent shared with anyone else and than this happened and i dont know what to think and just cant catch a break lately. i feel again as my life is crashing again and there is nothing i can do to stop it.... all day since i have found out i have been in a deep depression and just sitting there thinking about why does this always happen and my friends that are female cant figure it out because they always say i am the guy of all girls dreams and being hot doesnt hurt either..... does anyone have any insight or different look on this because i still cant stop thinking of her and all and it seems as if i will never find the one....... as many know i had a fiance for a while before i walked in on her cheating on me and ****ing one of my best friends at the time. i would really appreciate to here some thoughts on the situation and how to cheer myself up...

Thanks family for always being there for me.

Well just look at it as experiance. Your young and theirs a lot of women out there, and remember the old saying " why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", I know it sounds cold but theres so many women and so little time. Use what god gave ya and play the game, and have fun with it.

[CYBER WEESJE]

He dash sorry to here this bro she forgot about that? Damm uhm strange i also had my share of life on this area also relation i am very caring one give love romance respect i am trust wordy en never cheat my girls and participates in everything for a woman too much mostly i am to good for women that dont deserve me my last girl it whas like 1 year and 6 months and decided to buy a house after buy that sale was closed i came to notice one email that she forget to delete some flirty text from guy and it started i am bad boy whit pc so since she change passwords msn windows i hackt it and instaled a keylogger after only one day i had prove print it out on paper and to be honnest to look on here face whas gold i had here busted she whas cheathing me with someone at her work i stopt the relation ship and i am stuk whit hour house its op for sale and i hate here big time its hard to hear all this and love hurts sometime realy bad bud i had to move on to so thanks to my friends and i got over it well dash enough about me dash you deserve a good woman and that day will come keep your head up bro your soulmate is out there some where life will bring you together whe your friends are all still here buddy

ps i hope you understand some of this

grtz weesje
moderator@spj

[tektoys]

whoa! and here we thought she was the one... well... shit happens man thats the bottom line, like many have said before you're young and THE one is still out there waiting for you. relationships are like a cow, no matter what you always get meat, the key is getting the right cut but to get to it you gotta go through all the fat and crap to get to the good part... and to the ladies , don't get me wrong i'm not comparing you to meat or cows by any stretch of the imagination so please put away the torches and pitchforks... but i digress... this has happened to all of us to some digree or extent, hell i got married a little over a year ago and i'm 35, i've gone through my fair share of "cows" and i finally got to my filet mignon, i do admit i occasionally look at ground beef and wouldn't mind making meatballs but then i remember i've got some good meat at home... dammit now i'm hungry!! anyway, keep moving and dont forget that we're your support system (something those therapists will recommend) and although going out to clubs and bars alone may seem creepy and weird from time to time it's not bad to scope the beef LOL! ok enough cattle analogies!

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by 1LOMOFO ”

Well just look at it as experiance. Your young and theirs a lot of women out there, and remember the old saying " why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", I know it sounds cold but theres so many women and so little time. Use what god gave ya and play the game, and have fun with it.

word, thanks for the anaolgy actually got me smiling for the first time since.... does put it in a different thought pattern in my mind also.

“ Originally Posted by weesje ”

He dash sorry to here this bro she forgot about that? Damm uhm strange i also had my share of life on this area also relation i am very caring one give love romance respect i am trust wordy en never cheat my girls and participates in everything for a woman too much mostly i am to good for women that dont deserve me my last girl it whas like 1 year and 6 months and decided to buy a house after buy that sale was closed i came to notice one email that she forget to delete some flirty text from guy and it started i am bad boy whit pc so since she change passwords msn windows i hackt it and instaled a keylogger after only one day i had prove print it out on paper and to be honnest to look on here face whas gold i had here busted she whas cheathing me with someone at her work i stopt the relation ship and i am stuk whit hour house its op for sale and i hate here big time its hard to hear all this and love hurts sometime realy bad bud i had to move on to so thanks to my friends and i got over it well dash enough about me dash you deserve a good woman and that day will come keep your head up bro your soulmate is out there some where life will bring you together whe your friends are all still here buddy

ps i hope you understand some of this

grtz weesje
moderator@spj

wow thats tough and thanks for sharing that with me, understood it all and very impressed by how good that you english has got in this short period of time. thanks for relating to me in that aspect

“ Originally Posted by tektoys ”

whoa! and here we thought she was the one... well... shit happens man thats the bottom line, like many have said before you're young and THE one is still out there waiting for you. relationships are like a cow, no matter what you always get meat, the key is getting the right cut but to get to it you gotta go through all the fat and crap to get to the good part... and to the ladies , don't get me wrong i'm not comparing you to meat or cows by any stretch of the imagination so please put away the torches and pitchforks... but i digress... this has happened to all of us to some digree or extent, hell i got married a little over a year ago and i'm 35, i've gone through my fair share of "cows" and i finally got to my filet mignon, i do admit i occasionally look at ground beef and wouldn't mind making meatballs but then i remember i've got some good meat at home... dammit now i'm hungry!! anyway, keep moving and dont forget that we're your support system (something those therapists will recommend) and although going out to clubs and bars alone may seem creepy and weird from time to time it's not bad to scope the beef LOL! ok enough cattle analogies!

another cow analogy huh, just messing... but thanks and that does help clear some things up when you here it in different terms and realize that many have been through similar occurences and twists in relationships and life. means a lot to have soooo many people showing care.

[1LOMOFO]

Or you know what might be happening, your pimpn so hard all the ladies are looking at you and loosing there minds and thinkn " WOW , gota get some of that man gina". LOL just a thought, but it could be whats happening.

[MikeyD]

DAMN women can screw with your life so bad. You cant live with em and you cant kill em without gettig caught (damn csi)....J/K. Counseling is good, i went through when i found out my wife cheated on me. I decided to stay with her after i found out but for the longest time i couldnt look at her without thinking she was sleeping with every guy she talked too. I went to counseling and a local support group for a few weeks. They helped alot cuz i could vent to people other than my family (which would have crusified my wife). That was 4 years ago and know i bring up jokingly or not at all. Now we have the beautiful daughters which are my world (yes they are all mine, i checked). What im getting at is that was a low point in my life, cuz no matter what she did to me i still love the heck out of her and thats what hurt the most is that i could not let that go. I took my rifle with me to the mountains and thought real hard about pulling that trigger, thank god i was drunk and past out. when i woke up all i could think of was my girls and i didnt want to put them throught that. So counseling works and real friends help too. Find a support group that might help you too. check for state counseling that is was i did, i only paid like 15 dollars a session. I hope it all works out for man, keep your head up and remember it could always be worse you could have a sharp stick in your eye....lol

[tlpalmer01]

Dash
You are an awesome person from what I have seen in your postings and text messages..even in your crisis you had asked about me...Any woman would be very lucky to have you and someone who does that to you doesnt deserve you..not too mention you are hot...if only i were a little younger and not going thru a divorce (husband walked out after my dad died).. but seriously you have alot to offer and someday you will find the girl you are meant to be with and will treat and love you the way you should be. I still believe I will get married again to a man who treats and supports me thru good and bad times...

You have alot on your plate now and believe me when I tell you things will be better I mean it. My husband was everything to me and I loved him so much and it hurt when he said he didnt love me...It has been almost 2 years since we seperated and I know that our breakup was meant to happen.. and again you know you can call, text to talk whenever I will always listen...

PS..me and littledaisy can have a word with her if you would like..haha..

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by MikeyD ”

DAMN women can screw with your life so bad. You cant live with em and you cant kill em without gettig caught (damn csi)....J/K. Counseling is good, i went through when i found out my wife cheated on me. I decided to stay with her after i found out but for the longest time i couldnt look at her without thinking she was sleeping with every guy she talked too. I went to counseling and a local support group for a few weeks. They helped alot cuz i could vent to people other than my family (which would have crusified my wife). That was 4 years ago and know i bring up jokingly or not at all. Now we have the beautiful daughters which are my world (yes they are all mine, i checked). What im getting at is that was a low point in my life, cuz no matter what she did to me i still love the heck out of her and thats what hurt the most is that i could not let that go. I took my rifle with me to the mountains and thought real hard about pulling that trigger, thank god i was drunk and past out. when i woke up all i could think of was my girls and i didnt want to put them throught that. So counseling works and real friends help too. Find a support group that might help you too. check for state counseling that is was i did, i only paid like 15 dollars a session. I hope it all works out for man, keep your head up and remember it could always be worse you could have a sharp stick in your eye....lol

hahahaha thanks bro and yeah a sharp stick in the eye would suck especially since that is my ticket to the girls since i have these blue eyes that make them melt and when i get emotional or have a deep talk wit hthem they turnh greenish makes em melt

“ Originally Posted by tlpalmer01 ”

Dash
You are an awesome person from what I have seen in your postings and text messages..even in your crisis you had asked about me...Any woman would be very lucky to have you and someone who does that to you doesnt deserve you..not too mention you are hot...if only i were a little younger and not going thru a divorce (husband walked out after my dad died).. but seriously you have alot to offer and someday you will find the girl you are meant to be with and will treat and love you the way you should be. I still believe I will get married again to a man who treats and supports me thru good and bad times...

You have alot on your plate now and believe me when I tell you things will be better I mean it. My husband was everything to me and I loved him so much and it hurt when he said he didnt love me...It has been almost 2 years since we seperated and I know that our breakup was meant to happen.. and again you know you can call, text to talk whenever I will always listen...

PS..me and littledaisy can have a word with her if you would like..haha..

wow thank yoyu again and sorry we havent been able to talk much altely between work and everything elese. but i have decided to talk to a counselor also so i can get my thoughts all spread out and sorted to make it easier on me. thank you ofr always caring and when things start slowing down the texts will start coming and a regular pac to keep in touch. thanks for everything.

[crazaytalent]

Damn... Im sorry to hear that... but stay strong youll come thru... and may even learn somthing from it, become stronger cuz of it...

Like many, Ive been there too... There was a time when I completly fell in love w/ a girl... so in love with her that I lost myself...We dated in college upstate... and when we left, I came back home to nyc... brought her down to live with me... fully commited... to he and life together... Then, my house of cards all came crashing down... my ace, took my queen and left me standing there like a joker, basically feelin like a clown... as the two most important people in my life betrayed me and abandoned me...I was there, hung up on her and completely lost of who 'I' was... lost my self to the idea of 'We', that I had commited too...

But i toughed it out... found my way back to myself, and learnd so many thing, like I had to focus and take care of me first, be true to myself and then everything else would fall into place around me and how I wanted my life to be..., gave up the high paying 9-5 making most money i ever head, but that I totally hated... i got back into my acting and djing, found what makes me happy... rebuilt my friendship with tru friends at the time, and took it day by day... in the process i got over her, and realized it wasnt right anywayz, it did happen for a reason, and i was fre to find what was truely right for me... now im living a dream bro... my acting is well... career taking off nicely, im making money of my craft, and have a beautiful woman in my life to share it with, and to continue growing with... one that is what right for me, understands me lets be de, isnt tryna change me, and is her own stong independat free spirit... with her own career goals, etc... we lift each other up and give each other strength, and that what i truly wanted and need...

All that is just to show, you can come out of it, and for the better bro... be strong, face it, accept it, and allow urself to move on, whatever it takes... to learn n grow from it dawg... It good that your makin the effort to invest in you, weather that be thru conseling or spj or anything else thatll help u find what makes u happy in ur world, and the rest will fall into place... shell come when ur not lookin or expecting or even caring, cuz youll be happy doing doin u...

so stay strong, and know ur spj brethren have got you bro... aight now enuff w/ my preachin..

[PROBEX]

I say be "the other guy" for a while, the fact she came to your house and sat on your bed, and forgot to mention the fact she has a boyfriend are all reasons enough to... um get in there. If your really hung up on her... fight for her... women love that stuff. But ya gotta keep it clean. Be the sholder to cry on and above all don't act desperate around her act... coy. Don't show that your wanting her really badly, show her your fun loving and carefree. As we all know guys are prone to "screw the pooch" in our relationships. You just gotta be the one she falls back on when boyfreind buddy screws up [and he will] then be ready to pounce like a hungry lion. hehehe I always say never burn any bridges as who knows maybe she has a smoken hot sister or relative that she will hook you up with?

I bet this post will be unpopular with the ladies... lol but its so true.

You know when your young and single it does not hurt to shut down you emotions a bit more D/\SH, I know you are a sensitive guy... but no need to get ahead of yourself like that. Make them earn that sensitivity from you.

[monkeyxiv]

“ Originally Posted by D/\SH ”

well basically as you all know i have been chilling quite a bit with priscilla and was loving every minute of it. but today i found out after of course i started falling for her that she has a boyfriend she conveniently forgot to tell me about. after all i have just gone through this is a big hit and i dont know what to do or what i am doing wrong. i consider myself the perfect gentleman that will always treat a woman with respect whether it is opening doors, listening to what they have to say, being respectful, in arguments listening to what she has to say than tell her my perspective respectfully, call her just to say hi and to see how their day is going, remembering special oocassions, being part of their intresets and doing those intrests with them, etc.... i just seem to never have luck with the ladies yet and just dont seem to know why. me and pris have always understood eachother and could tell eachother anything even stuff we havent shared with anyone else and than this happened and i dont know what to think and just cant catch a break lately. i feel again as my life is crashing again and there is nothing i can do to stop it.... all day since i have found out i have been in a deep depression and just sitting there thinking about why does this always happen and my friends that are female cant figure it out because they always say i am the guy of all girls dreams and being hot doesnt hurt either..... does anyone have any insight or different look on this because i still cant stop thinking of her and all and it seems as if i will never find the one....... as many know i had a fiance for a while before i walked in on her cheating on me and ****ing one of my best friends at the time. i would really appreciate to here some thoughts on the situation and how to cheer myself up...

Thanks family for always being there for me.

d/\sh ive been in a similar situation... and the easiest way to answer is



and with women its completely ****ed up (no offence ladys we all know the ones here on spj are the best )

but in my experiences i found out that the one you want will come at the awkwardest times seriously its ****ed up how women work because they will say that your this and that but they mean the exact opposite. about 60% of my friends are chicks and none of them would ever date me back when i was flying solo. it turned out they would tell me one thing but mean the exact opposite. its weird women want someone who they have to work for and who they can change. ive gotten them to actually confess this. like women go for the "bad" guy because they like the challenge of turning them into the good guy. with this priscilla chick if you want to keep her try this:

give her the cold shoulder. dont talk to her at all. dont give her an explanation why or ANYTHING. dont answer her calls if she comes over dont answer the door. sooner or later she will literally crawl to you if she really wants you. (which ide be willing to bet she does.)

women HATE the cold shoulder. and its amazing what you can get accomplished with it.

[fanaticny]

lol your story sounds like mine, my friends tell how nice I am, and blah blah blah..............well, it's been 2 years since my last relationship and Im still freaking single......lol..... but I hope you feel better man, a girl knows when a guy is interested, not sure why she didn't say anything.

[PROBEX]

“ Originally Posted by fanaticny ”

not sure why she didn't say anything.

Its cause she was gonna cheat, she was testing the water to see if he was gonna get all hung up on her or if she could just tear off a piece of the D/\SH without it getting all complicated.



Here is another little something to chew on...

In my life I have had many many different relationships with the ladies [not bragging it's just true]

PROBEX WISDOM ON the Ladies

Dating... the younger the better [looking for booty call only]

1. They like a cocky arrogant guy [they say they don't but thats bullshit the nice guys are sitting in the corner while the arrogant guy is getting laid]
2. The more you ignore them for their not so hot friend the more they wanna do you.
3. If you treat them like you don't really care if they stay or go they wanna stay.
4. Never act like your a sweet guy... ever.

On relationships

Do the above but let them think they have changed you into the sweet caring guy. [slowly be like wow I never new I could feel like this until I met you.]


Dating death... DO NOT EVER try for the pity f@ck by the woes me I'm so hard done by... my life is so hard...blaa blaa blaa. even if it is... you want them to think you have your shit together


Excellent ways to "get the" hot chick in a group of girls in the bar [only works if your somewhat good looking to begin with and you must oooozzzze confidence]
Girls always go to the bar in groups and they always want to be the hottest of the group. Now they trick to get the hottest one is to check the group from across the room till they notice you are looking at them.
Now you'll notice normally that the hottest one has been shooting guys down all night [normally.. and this is to your advantage if its a fact]
get up and go directly to the least attractive girl in the group [she will be nice] as look at the *****s she is hanging with.. start a convo with her about whatever [tell her you wanted to say hello as she looked board or lonely] .... her hot freinds will by this time be... alll wtf why aren't you talking to me.Now they will be all trying to get up in your grill and grab your attention, play it cool pretend to be slightly annoyed by their jumping in but say hello im blaa blaa blaa. Make a quick end to the conversation with the other girl even maybe buy her [and only her] a drink and give a pleasant goodbye really nice to meet you to them all.

Now go back to your table and relax... or maybe hit a few more tables like that same way... now we wait.... no worries it really won't take that long before those girls are coming over to you [trust me its been driving them nuts as they know they are hotter then their friends] I have even had them all mad like what the hell is something wrong with me... I answer mmm no your really hot... but I saw how you where brushing off people and figured you must be a real *****... mmm but now that I'm talking to you, your really not so bad.

BINGO.... your in there buddy Its like fishing it takes patience and the right bait.

AND MAKE THEM LAUGH.. women love a good sense of humor


The reality- girls will say this will never work when reading this because they could never admit being so shallow.. it works trust me.

[angiekay]

oh Dashy, I'm so sorry. I know that feeling when you "think" you have found the "one" and turns out it wasn't. I agree with everyone else here, quit looking for it, it will fall in your lap when you least expect it. And also, concentrate on YOU right now, getting yourself straight and happy, then it will happen for you, YOU are a good man and an obvious great catch! Just like your friends that are girls tell you, you ARE IT! Like the real life version of the man a woman would create for herself! You are smart, great sense of humor, caring, have lots of love and affection to give (which is great esp. for those high maintenance women, lol), you have a JOB AND A CAR (two I think?), down here in NC, that's like hitting the damn lottery, MAN I'm telling ya!!!

YOU DO YOU! AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW! Time heals all wounds!

and the couseling thing is also a great idea, I got ALOT out of counseling myself, discovered some very important things I needed to work on so I could be a better person for someone else! But women are a little different and sometimes feel like "we need" a man to "complete" us, at least I did for a very long time, and I came to realize that's not true and I COULD be alone and still be happy. And it's NO YOU! it's just that you haven't found the right one yet, and you will...................

Take care dear, buzz if you need to chat!!!

[lordhelmet]

Well Bro, I am not one to post too much personal stuff, but to make a point for you, I will. I am 32 and SINGLE. In my life, I have had TWO girlfriends that I actually said "Hey, this is my girlfriend." I am not homosexual, I love women, I am not ugly, I am F&*^$NG funny, laid back, yada, yada, whatever, and you know what, screw it. When the right one comes along, she'll have herself a MAN. Same for you bro, I agree with Probex and all, but I say be you. If you want to screw around and get laid, do what you gotta do, I'm all for it. But, when it comes down to the "love of your life," be true to who you are, and no one can say sh&t about that, except you. I would encourage counseling bro, but you don't need to pay big bucks for it. Guess what, four pages of posts here and you bearing your soul, says you're getting a lot of valuable counseling for FREE (no regist key needed )
I don't know if you're a church man, but God is always there for you. Either way, there are lots of churches that will offer life counselors or just people that will listen to you in confidence for free or very cheap. I just finished a 16 weeks of sessions recently with someone from a local church that I don't even go to. It cost $5/session. The man was not a PhD, but it was good just to have someone in front of me to listen to me rant. You are already half way to wherever you want to get to because you're honest, and you put yourself out there. For most people, that is the hardest part, is to just share their story. So explore your options before you commit to paying some head shrink $125/hr. And you already know you can hit me up whenever. Good luck to you bro, and good luck to me!

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by PROBEX ”

I say be "the other guy" for a while, the fact she came to your house and sat on your bed, and forgot to mention the fact she has a boyfriend are all reasons enough to... um get in there. If your really hung up on her... fight for her... women love that stuff. But ya gotta keep it clean. Be the sholder to cry on and above all don't act desperate around her act... coy. Don't show that your wanting her really badly, show her your fun loving and carefree. As we all know guys are prone to "screw the pooch" in our relationships. You just gotta be the one she falls back on when boyfreind buddy screws up [and he will] then be ready to pounce like a hungry lion. hehehe I always say never burn any bridges as who knows maybe she has a smoken hot sister or relative that she will hook you up with?

I bet this post will be unpopular with the ladies... lol but its so true.

You know when your young and single it does not hurt to shut down you emotions a bit more D/\SH, I know you are a sensitive guy... but no need to get ahead of yourself like that. Make them earn that sensitivity from you.

thanks for the input and i knew her for 2 years which was why i was so close to her. but yeah i see where you are coming from for sure.

“ Originally Posted by monkeyxiv ”

d/\sh ive been in a similar situation... and the easiest way to answer is



and with women its completely ****ed up (no offence ladys we all know the ones here on spj are the best )

but in my experiences i found out that the one you want will come at the awkwardest times seriously its ****ed up how women work because they will say that your this and that but they mean the exact opposite. about 60% of my friends are chicks and none of them would ever date me back when i was flying solo. it turned out they would tell me one thing but mean the exact opposite. its weird women want someone who they have to work for and who they can change. ive gotten them to actually confess this. like women go for the "bad" guy because they like the challenge of turning them into the good guy. with this priscilla chick if you want to keep her try this:

give her the cold shoulder. dont talk to her at all. dont give her an explanation why or ANYTHING. dont answer her calls if she comes over dont answer the door. sooner or later she will literally crawl to you if she really wants you. (which ide be willing to bet she does.)

women HATE the cold shoulder. and its amazing what you can get accomplished with it.

i couldnt give the cold shoulder and we talked it out today at work and decided to be friends even though it will be tough at first... jsut dont want to lose her since she listened to me and i told her deep things i havent told anyone else and she has done the same so i cant lose an influence in my life like that... will jsus take some time to get over her.

“ Originally Posted by PROBEX ”

Its cause she was gonna cheat, she was testing the water to see if he was gonna get all hung up on her or if she could just tear off a piece of the D/\SH without it getting all complicated.



Here is another little something to chew on...

In my life I have had many many different relationships with the ladies [not bragging it's just true]

PROBEX WISDOM ON the Ladies

Dating... the younger the better [looking for booty call only]

1. They like a cocky arrogant guy [they say they don't but thats bullshit the nice guys are sitting in the corner while the arrogant guy is getting laid]
2. The more you ignore them for their not so hot friend the more they wanna do you.
3. If you treat them like you don't really care if they stay or go they wanna stay.
4. Never act like your a sweet guy... ever.

On relationships

Do the above but let them think they have changed you into the sweet caring guy. [slowly be like wow I never new I could feel like this until I met you.]


Dating death... DO NOT EVER try for the pity f@ck by the woes me I'm so hard done by... my life is so hard...blaa blaa blaa. even if it is... you want them to think you have your shit together


Excellent ways to "get the" hot chick in a group of girls in the bar [only works if your somewhat good looking to begin with and you must oooozzzze confidence]
Girls always go to the bar in groups and they always want to be the hottest of the group. Now they trick to get the hottest one is to check the group from across the room till they notice you are looking at them.
Now you'll notice normally that the hottest one has been shooting guys down all night [normally.. and this is to your advantage if its a fact]
get up and go directly to the least attractive girl in the group [she will be nice] as look at the *****s she is hanging with.. start a convo with her about whatever [tell her you wanted to say hello as she looked board or lonely] .... her hot freinds will by this time be... alll wtf why aren't you talking to me.Now they will be all trying to get up in your grill and grab your attention, play it cool pretend to be slightly annoyed by their jumping in but say hello im blaa blaa blaa. Make a quick end to the conversation with the other girl even maybe buy her [and only her] a drink and give a pleasant goodbye really nice to meet you to them all.

Now go back to your table and relax... or maybe hit a few more tables like that same way... now we wait.... no worries it really won't take that long before those girls are coming over to you [trust me its been driving them nuts as they know they are hotter then their friends] I have even had them all mad like what the hell is something wrong with me... I answer mmm no your really hot... but I saw how you where brushing off people and figured you must be a real *****... mmm but now that I'm talking to you, your really not so bad.

BINGO.... your in there buddy Its like fishing it takes patience and the right bait.

AND MAKE THEM LAUGH.. women love a good sense of humor


The reality- girls will say this will never work when reading this because they could never admit being so shallow.. it works trust me.

thanks again probex and i love hearing other perspectives and all, thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts. and she may have been testing the waters but i feel that she was and still is attracted to me and would want to be with me. i feel that she wanted to test how i would react and all to know how it would go for when we got into arguments... shes a little upset i just want to be friends and at this point not anymore unless she can prove to me otherwise...... but im cool with the friends and i will get me a chic to rub it in her face

“ Originally Posted by angiekay ”

oh Dashy, I'm so sorry. I know that feeling when you "think" you have found the "one" and turns out it wasn't. I agree with everyone else here, quit looking for it, it will fall in your lap when you least expect it. And also, concentrate on YOU right now, getting yourself straight and happy, then it will happen for you, YOU are a good man and an obvious great catch! Just like your friends that are girls tell you, you ARE IT! Like the real life version of the man a woman would create for herself! You are smart, great sense of humor, caring, have lots of love and affection to give (which is great esp. for those high maintenance women, lol), you have a JOB AND A CAR (two I think?), down here in NC, that's like hitting the damn lottery, MAN I'm telling ya!!!

YOU DO YOU! AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT NOTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW! Time heals all wounds!

and the couseling thing is also a great idea, I got ALOT out of counseling myself, discovered some very important things I needed to work on so I could be a better person for someone else! But women are a little different and sometimes feel like "we need" a man to "complete" us, at least I did for a very long time, and I came to realize that's not true and I COULD be alone and still be happy. And it's NO YOU! it's just that you haven't found the right one yet, and you will...................

Take care dear, buzz if you need to chat!!!

thank you and i may have to take you up on that offer tonight if you hacve the chance.

“ Originally Posted by lordhelmet ”

Well Bro, I am not one to post too much personal stuff, but to make a point for you, I will. I am 32 and SINGLE. In my life, I have had TWO girlfriends that I actually said "Hey, this is my girlfriend." I am not homosexual, I love women, I am not ugly, I am F&*^$NG funny, laid back, yada, yada, whatever, and you know what, screw it. When the right one comes along, she'll have herself a MAN. Same for you bro, I agree with Probex and all, but I say be you. If you want to screw around and get laid, do what you gotta do, I'm all for it. But, when it comes down to the "love of your life," be true to who you are, and no one can say sh&t about that, except you. I would encourage counseling bro, but you don't need to pay big bucks for it. Guess what, four pages of posts here and you bearing your soul, says you're getting a lot of valuable counseling for FREE (no regist key needed )
I don't know if you're a church man, but God is always there for you. Either way, there are lots of churches that will offer life counselors or just people that will listen to you in confidence for free or very cheap. I just finished a 16 weeks of sessions recently with someone from a local church that I don't even go to. It cost $5/session. The man was not a PhD, but it was good just to have someone in front of me to listen to me rant. You are already half way to wherever you want to get to because you're honest, and you put yourself out there. For most people, that is the hardest part, is to just share their story. So explore your options before you commit to paying some head shrink $125/hr. And you already know you can hit me up whenever. Good luck to you bro, and good luck to me!

thanks for sharing that with me and i have been 2 years without a girl since my ex fiance and it does hurt and i do want to chase but dont for the mere fact that it isnt how you get the girls....... i love hearing from you all and the different perspecives... thanks guys it does mean alot.

[monkeyxiv]

d/\sh what im saying about giving her the cold shoulder is about 90% of the times women can't stand that and they come crawling back.

[littledaisy]

“ Originally Posted by monkeyxiv ”

d/\sh what im saying about giving her the cold shoulder is about 90% of the times women can't stand that and they come crawling back.

thats not entirely true....but i guess if its DASHY whos giving them the cold shoulder then i see why they would do anything to get him back....cuz then she'd realize that she missed out in a once in a lifetime opportunity to be with a great guy....

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by littledaisy ”

thats not entirely true....but i guess if its DASHY whos giving them the cold shoulder then i see why they would do anything to get him back....cuz then she'd realize that she missed out in a once in a lifetime opportunity to be with a great guy....

naw i cant give her the cold shoulder since

1. thats not me.
2. i have talked to her and we are still going to be friends since we are very comfortable and can tell each other anything and know it will stay between the two of us.... i know it will be tempting to not reach over and give her a kiss or anything like that for a period of time but i feel we can work through this. im a believer in fate and what is going to happen is already planned so if we still stay friends and something more comes from it great! but if not at least i still have her as a friend and didnt lose someone that i are about forever from my life over something like this.... we have a lot of mending to do in our relationship and we are talking it out quite a bit and hopefully all will work for the greater

thanks for the words daisy does mean a lot.

[1mrlcb]

Dont even think about her bro there are millions of even hotter girls and im sure 1 is for you

[eklipz3]

D/\SH i feel for you man.. i've been wondering the same thing all my life but one thing i've came to realize is if you try to find "the one" its gunna be a tuff cold road to go down to get to her. I've thought i found "the one" more than once in my life and thoses "one(s)" disappeared, even the female im with now deep down inside i feel aint the one for me but i fell so deep for her im just living the momments until there gone. I've been told too by my female friends that im that guy that every female wants to be with and would give there right arm for a guy like me.. but its funny tho cuz it makes you think.. if all this is true then why in the hell are you'll only realizing that and not the females i meet?.... The chick im with cheated on me twice.. both times i found out a year down the road and it hurts dumb ass bad when someone does some s*** to you and it just "slips there mind". My home girl called me lastnight cuz shes having problems with her dude and my girl got pissed at me because my home girl didnt say hi to her for the 10min's i was on the phone.. i havent talked to my girl all day now becuz of that... but she thinks its completely ok to talk to her ex thats out in ohio and he dont say s*** to me and as a matter of fact doesnt even wanna hold a convo wit her while shes around me but to put the icing on the cake shes moving back there in june and expects me to beleave that there not gunna F around again and that she wants me to move out there with her once she gets settled... lol im sorry dash i start talkin bout my own problems... but all in all wut im tryin to get at man is just live in the moment man and dont really plan toward the future for nothing becuz its not promised and its disappointing (somtimes). Especially wit females some are good and some are sneaky as hell wut i would do is go back "fishing" again just dont "fall" in the water unless you kno that your both giving 110% to each other.

[gadget945]

Honestly dude, can you feel the love? 5 pages of posts with advice, kind words, props and support. People who don't even know you care about you enough to take time out of their days to send you messages, just because you seem like a great guy. Okay, here comes the devil's advocate part, you might not like this, but here goes. I didn't know when you first talked about this that this girl worked for you. Do you know what kind of problems this could cause for you? She probably knows about your work on SPJ and all of this, right? I understand that you believe that she wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but she's already shown that she has no problem with hurting you, right? Did you ever stop to consider that she played you because she could and that she's going to use you to the best of her abilities? Remember that son I told you about? Found out that they are expecting again and now are happily in love again. Two week turnaround on that one, huh? He believes that she wants to stay and that she is going to stay and that she loves him and everything is peachy. Still, is there an explanation for the "friend" that bought her a cell phone, so she could text with folks, other than her husband? The restricted chat site, that she "moderates" and the email addresses that he doesn't know about? BTW, if someone were to have told you about this, and it was happening to them, would you tell them to be friends with someone who not only betrayed them, but wants to continue to be friends. Isn't one of the things about being a friend that you can trust someone? "Forgetting" to disclose about a boyfriend, what about if she had forgotten to disclose being born male? Would that make a difference to you? What else hasn't she told you? Can you ever trust someone who showed they weren't trustworthy, or are you just holding on, hoping that she's going to change her mind and your life will be perfect? I wanted to let you know that I actually thought about you all last night and today, because your current situation hit kind of close to home for me, because of my son. Ultimately, it is up to you what you will put up with from people, girlfriend, friend or not. Bear in mind that whatever you put up with now, you will be expected to tolerate even more than that in the future. Don't mean to sound vicious, but you really sound like a sweet guy who wants things to be good and is willing to put up with a lot to make other people happy, even if that means that he's miserable. You don't deserve to be miserable. ***Also, instead of spending gobs of money on a counselor, there is apparently a graduate school in Grand Rapids that does low cost counseling. It's done by grad students and interns under supervision. If you need a referral, they can do that too. The following is from their site. Don't know how to code, so didn't put the link in. I picked Grand Rapids because that's where your profile says you live. To schedule an appointment with a counselor, call (616) 771-4171 between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m., Monday through Thursday, and between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on Friday. Please allow at least an hour for an initial appointment. WMU - Grand Rapids Campus - GR Downtown - Center for Counseling and Psychological Services - Center for Counseling and Psychological Services Grand Rapids Graduate Center - Downtown 200 Ionia Ave SW Grand Rapids, MI 49503 Google Map Telephone: (616) 771-4171 Fax: (616) 742-5085

[iamdasht19]

“ Originally Posted by gadget945 ”

Honestly dude, can you feel the love? 5 pages of posts with advice, kind words, props and support. People who don't even know you care about you enough to take time out of their days to send you messages, just because you seem like a great guy. Okay, here comes the devil's advocate part, you might not like this, but here goes. I didn't know when you first talked about this that this girl worked for you. Do you know what kind of problems this could cause for you? She probably knows about your work on SPJ and all of this, right? I understand that you believe that she wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but she's already shown that she has no problem with hurting you, right? Did you ever stop to consider that she played you because she could and that she's going to use you to the best of her abilities? Remember that son I told you about? Found out that they are expecting again and now are happily in love again. Two week turnaround on that one, huh? He believes that she wants to stay and that she is going to stay and that she loves him and everything is peachy. Still, is there an explanation for the "friend" that bought her a cell phone, so she could text with folks, other than her husband? The restricted chat site, that she "moderates" and the email addresses that he doesn't know about? BTW, if someone were to have told you about this, and it was happening to them, would you tell them to be friends with someone who not only betrayed them, but wants to continue to be friends. Isn't one of the things about being a friend that you can trust someone? "Forgetting" to disclose about a boyfriend, what about if she had forgotten to disclose being born male? Would that make a difference to you? What else hasn't she told you? Can you ever trust someone who showed they weren't trustworthy, or are you just holding on, hoping that she's going to change her mind and your life will be perfect? I wanted to let you know that I actually thought about you all last night and today, because your current situation hit kind of close to home for me, because of my son. Ultimately, it is up to you what you will put up with from people, girlfriend, friend or not. Bear in mind that whatever you put up with now, you will be expected to tolerate even more than that in the future. Don't mean to sound vicious, but you really sound like a sweet guy who wants things to be good and is willing to put up with a lot to make other people happy, even if that means that he's miserable. You don't deserve to be miserable. ***Also, instead of spending gobs of money on a counselor, there is apparently a graduate school in Grand Rapids that does low cost counseling. It's done by grad students and interns under supervision. If you need a referral, they can do that too. The following is from their site. Don't know how to code, so didn't put the link in. I picked Grand Rapids because that's where your profile says you live. To schedule an appointment with a counselor, call (616) 771-4171 between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m., Monday through Thursday, and between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on Friday. Please allow at least an hour for an initial appointment. WMU - Grand Rapids Campus - GR Downtown - Center for Counseling and Psychological Services - Center for Counseling and Psychological Services Grand Rapids Graduate Center - Downtown 200 Ionia Ave SW Grand Rapids, MI 49503 Google Map Telephone: (616) 771-4171 Fax: (616) 742-5085

thanks gadget and thats right by the local community college that i go by. and i hear you in what you are saying..... i have to keep it professional with her and am going to do that. i keep debating and going back and fourth on what i s going to happen from there. i want to be friends but i get that what if she will change.... ive been throwing that what if out of my mind because i know it isnt the best for me but can be tough.... still lots to think about so i make sure that i make the correct decsion and thus why i want the counselor so i can spread out my options and get them laid out in front of me. thanks again for caring hun