i need to vent about gf sorry

**xabber** · July 10, 2009, 06:04 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Man .... sorry for the situation you are in right now ... but I'm assuming that the guy knows about you and your girl ... correct? If not make your presence known bro .. so at least he knows that there is no way there ... about you being "over protective" maybe you have to let go of the constant phone calls or messages to check on her that usually suffocates girls and give you BS later or create unnecessary drama for the both of you ... better yet since you are unable to drive ask her take a walk with you and stuff ... u know old school stuff chics like that is all about the details man .... in addition tell her that you just want to know how she is and stuff and that you are not controlling her at any point and that you are just looking for her well being and that you care about her ..

**Sidmetalquanta** · July 10, 2009, 06:33 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by ronaldsdv

Man .... sorry for the situation you are in right now ... but I'm assuming that the guy knows about you and your girl ... correct? If not make your presence known bro .. so at least he knows that there is no way there ... about you being "over protective" maybe you have to let go of the constant phone calls or messages to check on her that usually suffocates girls and give you BS later or create unnecessary drama for the both of you ... better yet since you are unable to drive ask her take a walk with you and stuff ... u know old school stuff chics like that is all about the details man .... in addition tell her that you just want to know how she is and stuff and that you are not controlling her at any point and that you are just looking for her well being and that you care about her ..

like i met the dude shook his hand and chilled together for a couple days... cause i spent the night... but just the fact that he's gonna be getting drunk with my girl and get into those deep convo's or nasty convo's he might want to test or she might want to... i trust her.. but i feel like the reason i'm trippin so hard is cause i feel like she doesn't make me feel like there IS NO REASON TO TRIP... she can tell you.. but when she proves it to you... it's a different story.. idk..

i asked my female manager for a hug... lol.... and after i wrote this i felt 30 percent better... thank you spj for listening.. still sad... but nothing you can fix... need to talk to her about things... when the time comes.. face to face... give her some time to get tired of partying...so i can slip in right at the right time...

**midlandthug04** · July 10, 2009, 06:41 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

sorry to hear that bro but there is no way to know if she is cheating on you or not unless you have physical proof or she tells you. What i would do is surprise her one of these day ask a friend to drive you or take the bus. Just surpriser with flowers or something like that that way she doesnt know that you are checking up on her. Love makes you blind and dumn some times

**topostitch** · July 10, 2009, 06:48 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Is your girl the hottest in the room?, if that's the case then i'd be worried, if not then you may be a little too needy and she's just trying to have some fun without you since you seem to always be there or make yourself always present(not necessarily physically), I'd say give her a little space and time to miss you a little bit. Only you know if 3 years of being together means actually something to her, come on now, we get the feeling when someone is just not there for us anymore. Good luck bro!

**Sidmetalquanta** · July 10, 2009, 06:58 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by jdep1

sorry to hear that bro but there is no way to know if she is cheating on you or not unless you have physical proof or she tells you. What i would do is surprise her one of these day ask a friend to drive you or take the bus. Just surpriser with flowers or something like that that way she doesnt know that you are checking up on her. Love makes you blind and dumn some times

well she coming to see me monday... she's also taking off to colorado... and then her party on the 25th... yeah i'm going CRAZY!!!

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Originally posted by fanaticny

Is your girl the hottest in the room?, if that's the case then i'd be worried, if not then you may be a little too needy and she's just trying to have some fun without you since you seem to always be there or make yourself always present(not necessarily physically), I'd say give her a little space and time to miss you a little bit. Only you know if 3 years of being together means actually something to her, come on now, we get the feeling when someone is just not there for us anymore. Good luck bro!

she the one in the pic wit me... she is the finest in the whole house and the really GET to know you type of person... the type to strike a conversation to become good buddies with you... ya know... yeah... i'm tripping.. .

on top of that... we were getting high and the dude brought a friend and his friend was talking about how his girl was fine... and then new dude said yeah... both your girls are hella fine... so then i was like in an awww... and then other dude said yea where are those fine ass hos you were talking about... then guess who walks out the door in some short ass shorts????... yep you guessed it right... yeah but she knew dudes were looking so she sat in my lap and kissed me...

dont get me wrong she a good girl and all just gelouse cause she doesn't make me feel secure...!!!!

**D/\SH** · July 10, 2009, 07:27 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

good luck and i would just let her be and chill on the texts a little bit, honestly i used to be the saem way, i am an old school dude that was taught how to treat a lady with opening doors, and always showing respect to them (unless they push to far hahaha) but anyways, i used to check up on my girls like you do but 2 gf's later i realized this wasn't the way. you can make them feel special and they love it for a period, but than women start to want to hang out with their friends and spend some time away just as us guys do. so i would give her a little breathing space for some time and let her really miss you, if she does love you (which i feel she does especially after 3 years) than she will call and express that. dont wait too long like a week or anything otherwise it looks and seems to the girl that you are pissed, moving on, dont care, or dont love them..... jsut give her some time to clear her head and you do the same. 99.9% of the time a human goes with their first instinct when dating so pretty much she is leaning for staying together or leaving already right now and the reason she said is because you are smothering her. just since she doesnt like that work on that and in a coule days if she doesnt call ask if you two can have some alone time where you can talk to eachother like walking over to get some ice cream or something. than explain to her how you feel, dont use exact words of someone else or anything just truly how you feel about the situation with her living with him, than partying late with him, and how it makes you feel.... also bring up the fact that you are willing to work on your own flaws which would be giving her more space and not always having her call or anything. trust me the calls and all are nice to receive for a while to make sure you get somewhere safely, but they get old really quick. my mom used to always make me text before i left somewhere to come home and would text me to see when i was leaving and all. the what time to be home i can understand but leaving after i said got old... not exactly the saem but the point behind is that it can get tiring and seem liek too much after a period of time.... so take a breather go hang out with the guys somewhere besides the bar, go bowling, laser tag, video games, anything to help ease your mind and you will be fine... best wishes and if you need to talk send me a pm and ill get you my number wheere you can text or call me on if im not working,

and cute girl btw, i like my darker girls like asians and latinas :)

**Sidmetalquanta** · July 10, 2009, 08:04 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by D/\SH

good luck and i would just let her be and chill on the texts a little bit, honestly i used to be the saem way, i am an old school dude that was taught how to treat a lady with opening doors, and always showing respect to them (unless they push to far hahaha) but anyways, i used to check up on my girls like you do but 2 gf's later i realized this wasn't the way. you can make them feel special and they love it for a period, but than women start to want to hang out with their friends and spend some time away just as us guys do. so i would give her a little breathing space for some time and let her really miss you, if she does love you (which i feel she does especially after 3 years) than she will call and express that. dont wait too long like a week or anything otherwise it looks and seems to the girl that you are pissed, moving on, dont care, or dont love them..... jsut give her some time to clear her head and you do the same. 99.9% of the time a human goes with their first instinct when dating so pretty much she is leaning for staying together or leaving already right now and the reason she said is because you are smothering her. just since she doesnt like that work on that and in a coule days if she doesnt call ask if you two can have some alone time where you can talk to eachother like walking over to get some ice cream or something. than explain to her how you feel, dont use exact words of someone else or anything just truly how you feel about the situation with her living with him, than partying late with him, and how it makes you feel.... also bring up the fact that you are willing to work on your own flaws which would be giving her more space and not always having her call or anything. trust me the calls and all are nice to receive for a while to make sure you get somewhere safely, but they get old really quick. my mom used to always make me text before i left somewhere to come home and would text me to see when i was leaving and all. the what time to be home i can understand but leaving after i said got old... not exactly the saem but the point behind is that it can get tiring and seem liek too much after a period of time.... so take a breather go hang out with the guys somewhere besides the bar, go bowling, laser tag, video games, anything to help ease your mind and you will be fine... best wishes and if you need to talk send me a pm and ill get you my number wheere you can text or call me on if im not working,

and cute girl btw, i like my darker girls like asians and latinas :)

beautiful words man... the thing is... i change moods sometimes.. and i change her a lot... like sometimes i like a *****y girl who will let me know what she gots on her mind... and sometimes i like a sweet one that will take sometime to really enjoy wat we have... now she complains about she has done too much and she now goes back and forth in a day instead of a month or two ya know... she gots to always be right like everyother girl but i'm getting tired of that.. and i cheated once and told her about it when i decided i was moving out so we could break up cause TRUST ME... living with a girl is no joke.. it's like living with your siblings it's hard to keep a smile on... but we got back together... i find out stuff about her till this day.... like she keeps secrets...not ones that are important but still secrets.. i'm a compulsive liar like any other dude.. like baby your beautiful when she looks like shit... stuff like that...

on another note.. thanks you guys for taking the time to read... i guess SPJ is there for everything...

i feel like crying just cause i'm so hurt but i feel like im hurting myself cause i question myself wat am i so sad about... and idk...

the thing that is just drenching me is the WAT IF's.... i keep hinting her when she calls that i'm sad and tell her i'm tired but she's just like o baby get some sleep... i can't make it any more obvious... i'm at work and typing this... and it sucks to be workin while feeling so depressed.. my co-worker and manager are trying to help me... but it's an internal thing... wat if... wat if... wat if... dam... it's nothing you guys can do.. but Dash!... your approach is more than likely the thing i'm going to do... thanks again...

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Love can be as beautiful as much as it can be a YITCH!!!

**GokuSS3** · July 10, 2009, 08:59 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Sorry to hear about this !!!! Sounds like you might be over protecive of her but then hard to say we are not there to see what happens with you guys every day. An there is another side to story as always. I think that it is creepy that the guys is 66 an chilling with girls that age. That right there would raise flags and not make me happy at all if it where my girl. But it sounds like you just need to talk to her about how you feel about what is going on right now!!! Maybe she is using this time as space to do her. People need there own personal time too some times in a relationship people don't give that an it can cause problems. So let things play out and just talk to her but dont let it always be about where she is or what she is doing all the time. Hope this helps

**D/\SH** · July 10, 2009, 09:12 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by GokuSS3

Sorry to hear about this !!!! Sounds like you might be over protecive of her but then hard to say we are not there to see what happens with you guys every day. An there is another side to story as always. I think that it is creepy that the guys is 66 an chilling with girls that age. That right there would raise flags and not make me happy at all if it where my girl. But it sounds like you just need to talk to her about how you feel about what is going on right now!!! Maybe she is using this time as space to do her. People need there own personal time too some times in a relationship people don't give that an it can cause problems. So let things play out and just talk to her but dont let it always be about where she is or what she is doing all the time. Hope this helps

hes not 66 hes 6ft 6 hahahaha

**GokuSS3** · July 10, 2009, 09:16 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by D/\SH

hes not 66 hes 6ft 6 hahahaha

Oh well still either would not be cool lmao

**pete777** · July 10, 2009, 11:06 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by Kiit408

she gots to always be right like everyother girl but i'm getting tired of that.. and i cheated once and told her about it when i decided i was moving out so we could break up cause TRUST ME... living with a girl is no joke.. it's like living with your siblings it's hard to keep a smile on... but we got back together... i find out stuff about her till this day.... like she keeps secrets...not ones that are important but still secrets.. i'm a compulsive liar like any other dude..

Okay - first off, you're only like 25, right? Your profile looks like you are. No disrespect intended.

The thing is that you've admitted that you have cheated on her before. Your basic situation is that you're thinking that she might do it. You're working off of a guilty conscience and that is what is eating you up right now. Everything that she does, you're thinking that is a sign of what she might be doing. If you call and she doesn't answer, do you get in a fight about it?

You can't drive, so that makes you feel like "less than a man" kind of, since you can't just get up and go when you want. If you want to take her out, you have to get her to drive, or move somewhere close or something like that?

Sweetie, it's normal. It sucks, but it's normal. If she stuck with you after you admitted to cheating, I gotta give her props for that. I know I couldn't do it. Two of my exes have tried.

You're probably wanting to check some of the local talent out yourself, and that makes you feel bad for thinking it. You try to pick a fight, she breaks it off, you're off the hook, you didn't do it, ever thought that?

It's time to do some serious soul searching. Do you wanna stay with her? As a mother, I would say that you need to do some living before you decide to settle down. I don't mean break it off and start hitting the streets. I mean realizing that there is more to life than being in a relationship, and that sometimes it's good to be alone for a little bit so that you can find out where you wanna go in life.

In a perfect world, the two of you could sit down and you could calmly explain to her why you are so "over-protective" once you figure it out yourself. She could reassure you that she isn't cheating on you. She could tell you that it's a roommate - not a dude, that she's a one man kind of girl.

Can't tell you exactly how it's gonna work out. Can tell you that if you don't do something, it's gonna eat you up and you won't like where it takes you.

BTW/IMO - That statement, "like any other dude", isn't really fair. It's a rationalization for your frame of mind and your actions.

**Sidmetalquanta** · July 11, 2009, 01:22 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by gadget945

Okay - first off, you're only like 25, right? Your profile looks like you are. No disrespect intended.

The thing is that you've admitted that you have cheated on her before. Your basic situation is that you're thinking that she might do it. You're working off of a guilty conscience and that is what is eating you up right now. Everything that she does, you're thinking that is a sign of what she might be doing. If you call and she doesn't answer, do you get in a fight about it?

You can't drive, so that makes you feel like "less than a man" kind of, since you can't just get up and go when you want. If you want to take her out, you have to get her to drive, or move somewhere close or something like that?

Sweetie, it's normal. It sucks, but it's normal. If she stuck with you after you admitted to cheating, I gotta give her props for that. I know I couldn't do it. Two of my exes have tried.

You're probably wanting to check some of the local talent out yourself, and that makes you feel bad for thinking it. You try to pick a fight, she breaks it off, you're off the hook, you didn't do it, ever thought that?

It's time to do some serious soul searching. Do you wanna stay with her? As a mother, I would say that you need to do some living before you decide to settle down. I don't mean break it off and start hitting the streets. I mean realizing that there is more to life than being in a relationship, and that sometimes it's good to be alone for a little bit so that you can find out where you wanna go in life.

In a perfect world, the two of you could sit down and you could calmly explain to her why you are so "over-protective" once you figure it out yourself. She could reassure you that she isn't cheating on you. She could tell you that it's a roommate - not a dude, that she's a one man kind of girl.

Can't tell you exactly how it's gonna work out. Can tell you that if you don't do something, it's gonna eat you up and you won't like where it takes you.

BTW/IMO - That statement, "like any other dude", isn't really fair. It's a rationalization for your frame of mind and your actions.

DAMN this was like the closest anyone has ever gotten to figuring me out... "less of a man" yeah that's exactly how i feel... dudes my age got CARS on DUBS... Nice houses... all the shit.. but i do know how to treat a women that's one thing i can admit.. and will hold on to...

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im sorry i got too needy and talked to moms and she gave me a talk and said women are just like that... they don't go out looking for dick so they just go to have fun... guys go out looking for pussy and wanna make sure they're not caught so they call their girls... cause they feel guilty.. Moms said that if i had questions that i should just ask her... that if she would have cheated on me she woulda done it already... we wouldn't even be with eachother.. and that i'm making her suffer by forcing her to keep in touch with you...

I felt so stupid after she told me this.. i felt so selfish.. and so insecure.. hopefully all you guys learn from this.. and remember.. this only applies to those in a long relationship... no a 2 month... you better check her phone and see wat she doing... naw jk... lol... live your life at your own will... just make sure make the right choices and not jump to conclusions... plus i went to the bar last night lol.. didn't dance... just stood there... BORED... lol... but i saw nipples so that was fun... i love body shots!!!... lol... Girl on Girl ;)

talked to her and got everything off the chest and OPPOLOGIZED.. OPOLOGIZED... real stuff... anyway were working things out.. thanks SPJ... YOU GUYS ARE LIKE MY FRIENDS WITHOUT KNOWING YOU PEOPLES lol.. im glad i got my phone cause if it werent for you guys i'll have such a boring poor life... i got 3 bucks in my pocket and am eating RITZ till next week lol... yay! (not really) lol... well thanks for everything... if anything pops up... you guys will know...

if anyone got problems please feel free to share i actually feel weight lifted from my shoulder.. not so stressed.. gotta make a compromise but still i feel better to talk about it...

**flocky** · July 11, 2009, 02:27 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

I'm glad things are working out for you, and just like everyone else has said, you are young and have your whole life in front of you. But from a girls point of view, I seriously wonder what the situation would be like if your roles were reversed? Like if you could drive, and were living in a house with another "hot chick" and partying it up with her and your buddies all night? I honestly wouldn't like it at all, and I have to admit I'm the worst on the jealousy. I've tried to get better in my current relationship, but being dumped on over and over in my life has caused me to feel insecure in any relationship and hard to trust anyone. And I get that "feeling less of a man" thing, b/c women are the same way........it's just making you on the insecure side right now, and it will pass as time goes by and you get things straight and back on the path of driving again an all.........be patient b/c that's what counts right now....and her staying with you through all of this, yea that's something to count on and hold on to.........talking and HONEST are #1 keys in a relationship I have found, NO "little secrets" or "big secrets" either way, they are secrets, and the more open you are in a relationship, NO matter if it hurts the other's feelings, the better and stronger the relationship will be, trust me on this, my man is honest as they come, and it was hard getting used to it, but we talk about EVERYTHING, doesn't matter what it is, how big or how small, EVERYTHING, and I know we are straight b/c of it!!!!

I'm holding out you two are going to work out, b/c you and her both are working on things and talking, which is a great sign.............stick with it, and take care of you!!!!

**Sidmetalquanta** · July 11, 2009, 04:39 PM

Re: i need to vent about gf sorry

Originally posted by angiekay

I'm glad things are working out for you, and just like everyone else has said, you are young and have your whole life in front of you. But from a girls point of view, I seriously wonder what the situation would be like if your roles were reversed? Like if you could drive, and were living in a house with another "hot chick" and partying it up with her and your buddies all night? I honestly wouldn't like it at all, and I have to admit I'm the worst on the jealousy. I've tried to get better in my current relationship, but being dumped on over and over in my life has caused me to feel insecure in any relationship and hard to trust anyone. And I get that "feeling less of a man" thing, b/c women are the same way........it's just making you on the insecure side right now, and it will pass as time goes by and you get things straight and back on the path of driving again an all.........be patient b/c that's what counts right now....and her staying with you through all of this, yea that's something to count on and hold on to.........talking and HONEST are #1 keys in a relationship I have found, NO "little secrets" or "big secrets" either way, they are secrets, and the more open you are in a relationship, NO matter if it hurts the other's feelings, the better and stronger the relationship will be, trust me on this, my man is honest as they come, and it was hard getting used to it, but we talk about EVERYTHING, doesn't matter what it is, how big or how small, EVERYTHING, and I know we are straight b/c of it!!!!

I'm holding out you two are going to work out, b/c you and her both are working on things and talking, which is a great sign.............stick with it, and take care of you!!!!

TRUST ME... if it were the other way around... SHE WILL TRIP BALLS... but it don't matter.. i'm a flirt but am about my buisness... i'm handsome and 21 youngster... but wat i've learned from cheating is that... it's fun for the minute.. but wat matters most is that your gonna feel like crap having to think you could get caught and it's not even worth it over a ho... especially if she know you got a girl.. i've met wsome really promising women.. and trust me the type that will whine and dine you.. she was banking but was 27 hot model chick with a daughter... that was an iffy for me... i just couldn't and just told myself.. that working through a relationship is better than getting it given to you... then it becomes just too easy... i like a challenge myself... she still not calling but atleast she text back... we'll work on things.. but still hoping nothing happens.. i really love her... i've learned so much and not to be too visual or nothing... but i can't picture laying hands on any other body besides her.. .and the smell is just unique... idk... sorry but it's true... lol..

i need to vent about gf sorry

i need to vent about gf sorry

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